Super Uberness

{ the ultimate uber mom }

When you hear the term “Uber Mom”, are there women who immediately come to mind?  You know, the moms who seem to always go above and beyond, are involved in every activity and charity under the sun, excel at everything they do, never lose their cool, and somehow even manage to keep their homes immaculate and they themselves looking beyond fabulous (not a strand of hair out of place)?

Yes, these women are rare but they do exist outside of "Desperate Housewives".  And they intimidate me (and I sincerely apologize if you were fooled into thinking I was one of them).

Truth be told, before James and I had kids, I found it difficult to spend time with a group of moms because I felt incredibly inadequate and out of place.  I didn’t really enjoy cooking, baking, decorating, gardening, cleaning, knitting, home renovations, or doing anything remotely maternal (and I apologize for the stereotype because I do realize moms come in great variety and with all kinds of different passions and gifting).  

My passions involved music, writing, exploring the world and sights around me, and daydreaming.  I quite honestly thought, “Maybe I’m not fit to be a mom.  What could I possibly offer?  Look at these women.  They have it all together, and I’m simply a mess.  I don't think motherhood is for me.”

Well, God had plans of His own. 

When I was 8 months pregnant with CJ, I attended our church’s annual women’s retreat.  I had never gone in the past, because as I stated before, I always felt out of place with the other women and wasn’t sure how to connect with them.  Well, in the end I was so thankful I went because I got a chance to know the other ladies and realized they weren't all that different from me. They had similar struggles, fears, and doubts.

The main speaker that year was a pastor from Boston.  It was the first time they had a male come and speak at the women’s retreat, and he did a beautiful job of delivering the Word to us.  I have the sermon notes somewhere in my house, but because my home is in complete disarray (which goes to show you I'm not an uber mom), I can’t find them anywhere. 

So I’m going off of memory here (which is never really reliable as anyone with mommy brain will tell you).

The speaker is the one who used the term "uber mom" in one of his messages pertaining to our identity.  And he pointed out that for many women, it is all too easy for our identity to be defined by what what we do (of course, this goes for men as well but he was speaking to a bunch of women).  So for us moms particularly, we struggle with striving for super uberness in managing our households and every other aspect of our lives.  Anything less would simply not do.  Anything less means we have failed.  And when we fail, our identity is rocked and shaken.  And until we get it right, we are undeserving of love or adoration.

How many times have we fallen under that trap?

But the speaker pointed us to the gospel.   The one and sure foundation for our identity is not in what we do but what Christ has done and who we are in Him.  The Lord’s grace is sufficient for us and his power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).  Our identity is not in motherhood but rather in daughterhood as precious daughters of the Almighty King.

I so needed to hear that message over 2.5 years ago as I prepared to become a mom.  And I so need to hear that message even now, because I still sometimes struggle with feeling inadequate and that my best is just not good enough.

Praise the Lord His best is absolutely perfect - it is all we need and even more.