Wrapping Up 2010

{ snapshots of 2011 calendar created for
nathan's 1-year birthday signed by
 friends and family }

Still a few weeks left in 2010 but I'm already contemplating what 2011 will have in store.  This year went by so quickly, most of it is a blur.  But here is a summary:

- Spent most of the year adjusting (and quite honestly, surviving) as a mom of two.  I tell people the transition from one to two kids is so much harder than going from zero to one!  All of the sudden, your attention is divided between two very dependent, needy children who rely heavily on you.  And there is very little time for yourself with the overlap in schedules and such.  And no quiet, alone time plus a sleep-deprived Rachel is a recipe for disaster!  I don't know how people have more than two children.  God bless you if you do (makes me truly appreciate my parents with three children!).

- Said goodbye (or rather "see you again soon") to my grandmother who passed away from lung cancer on October 16.  It was the first time cancer had hit our family, the first time I saw someone I love dearly suffer in such great pain and yet still bless the name of Jesus, the first time I gave a eulogy, my first time attending a burial, and the first time being with all my family and relatives together in one place in a very, very long time.  My grandmother inspired all of us in many ways.  We miss her dearly.

- I quit my full-time job.  I went back to work at the venture fund in February once my maternity leave was over.  But I soon felt the conviction to spend more time at home.  This was a tough decision for our family.  So James and I discussed it, went over our finances, prayed about it, and learned to have greater trust in the Lord.  I gave my notice in April and finally bid farewell to my job on Park Avenue in Manhattan at the end of August.  Well, it wasn't really goodbye.  I stayed on in a consultant role and still go in one day a week.

- I lost myself only to discover I was on a journey to find myself again.  The first month home was difficult.  If it's possible to experience post-partem depression a year after the baby is born, then I may have had a case of it.  I didn't know how to care for two young children on a daily, consistent basis (especially with one entering the terrible twos!).  I felt overwhelmed, underqualified, overworked (there is NEVER a break), and underappreciated.  I started questioning my role, my identity, my purpose. 

And so I turned to the form of therapy I have always known and loved . . . writing.

- So began the birth of Mother's Mementos.  I wanted a place to jot down my journey as a mom - the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I've actually been "blogging" since 2001 (we simply called it "online journaling" back then).  All those entries have been collected and tucked away on another site somewhere on the world wide web.  I wanted this blog to be a keepsake for my boys.  It soon became a creative outlet for me and then started to morph into something more.

I learned people can actually make a living from blogging.  And so I thought this may be a great way to earn a little extra money on the side.  My marketing background shifted into high gear, and I started to think up ways to build some momentum and gain readership.  I registered the domain name, set up ads, created a Facebook page, even signed up for a Twitter account (which I have yet to use).

And with each entry, I started to contemplate whether or not I should talk so much about my faith - it may turn some people off.  If I really want this blog to be successful, then I should try to cater it to a wider audience.

But more and more, I realized there is an audience of One that matters.

So my heart's desire is that whatever passions, gifts, and resources the Lord has given me would be used to honor and glorify Him.  And if along the way, I'm able to encourage, inspire, or make a few wonderful connections (which I already have), I am truly thankful for that. 

I am grateful for this year and all the lessons learned (some very difficult and some still in the process of learning).  I look forward to seeing what God has in store for 2011.